EYP - English Yellow Pages for Italy

Strange as it may sound, only those who have lived away from Italy are suitable to judge and criticize the way of life and the way of thinking of this beautiful country and its people. If you have had the best of both worlds, being born and brought up in another country and spending as much time in another place, you can imagine how easy it is to speak about a country which you do not consider your own because of your native origins but choose to make yours when appropriate and fitting. Life in Italy could be a bed of roses, since it has all the right buttons to press:- landscapes, climate, food, culture, opportunities ( a person once said that Italy was the land of opportunities) and mentality. A bed of roses for visitors, tourists and globetrotters but what is really fascinating is life and the living, the working and the studying, the dealing and the communicating with its people day to day, knowing that one is not talking about a short term relationship or visit but one that needs to be cultivated and nurtured for the future. Let’s go back to my friend’s words Italy is the land of opportunities What was he referring to? Well, to the fact that nothing is impossible. Even if someone says E’ impossibile!, you believe it for an instant, then something happens or somebody gives you proof that, on the contrary, it was possible, in the end! How can you trust people, then? Give up on what seems evident or on what somebody, sitting in an office, responsible for giving information of any kind? Of course you are free to make another five or six telephone calls to be informed of five or six different pieces of information and then you can come to the conclusion that you certainly know more than what you originally did, but it may not be the answer to your problem!! The advantage of all this, is that you have food for thought and you can do what you want in the end, with a bit of imagination and good will! All this leads you to think that you need to be smart and be able to use all bits and pieces of information to your advantage. Even a person with little education or academic skills could have the chance of getting on in life. Just look at our Italian Vips, especially those of the new television generation- reality shows and so on, they are earning money and popularity to make any scientific researcher envious. Popularity and importance or public imageWhat do these words mean to an Italian person? Even those with a modest background would agree that image and how we present ourselves is of the utmost importance. In an average Southern Italian family, we would find apparently serene, life-loving people who will smile and take their time to spend more than a few words to inquire on your state of health and daily routine. This is an essential social factor to appear as a normal, respectful citizen or neighbour- that same citizen would have had a bad argument with her husband, crashed the car into a wall, broken the last glass of a wedding set and burnt the coffee! The worst must never leak out! We must appear as calm and collected normal people. As someone else noticed bello is the most common word in the Italian spoken language. This, of course, doesn’t make them superficial nor selfish but simply good actors for a society that rewards respectful and neighbourly citizens. Having said all this, Italian people are decidedly tolerant and respectful. Not many people will complain about someone who has just stepped into their queue and has got served before them. Young people, above all, tolerate abnormal behaviour among their schoolmates and rarely rebel against them or declare that they are making life hell. Does this indicate that youngsters really don’t care or do they accept the fact that we cannot all be the same and la vita bella, perch diversa ? Complaining about other people’s behaviour never gets you anywhere, anyway and asserting your authority or speaking up has always been considered rude and intolerant. So we may come to the conclusion that if we are not critical of others then, we are neither critical of ourselves. Self- irony and self-criticism have never been Italian people’s strong points. Wiser to give somebody else the blame, rather that admit our own errors. How often have you heard It wasn’t my fault. I had nothing to do with it? Admitting failure or simply saying Sorry, I made a mistake is something that goes against natural character or personality, as if showing vulnerability or weakness is stripping you of your mask of apparent strength and composure. Laughing at one’s errors and undermining oneself can only be a reflection of a strong and vulnerable person- a contradiction in terms? Maybe, but it’s a rare quality that may be interpreted as Don’t worry, I am not infallible and neither are you. It’s allowed. Italian people love their country, without being patriotic and nationalistic. They are ready to defend their culture and way of life, capable of giving appropriate information on geographical, cultural and political matters with no difficulty. Amazing what and how much Italian people know about their country. They are also appreciative of other cultures, excellent travellers, eager to learn and accept foreign traditions – no snobbery or criticism, mere appreciation and tolerance. Family lovers are they, spoilt children and young adults, especially males who still live at home with their parents at the age of thirty, along the way, but certain values and respect of the family as an institution are to be definitely admired. All in all, Italians are worth knowing and imitating for some aspects- taking or leaving whatever seems fit because, as in all great civilizations, there is always lots to learn and appreciate, making treasure of ways and lifestyles that do not belong to you but you may choose to pack away into your virtual suitcase for future reference and needs. They, in exchange, will be honoured to give their best and prettiest side of themselves, nodding in acknowledgement with a smile on their faces and a firm shake of their hand.

originally posted by: Giuseppina Caraglia