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No Ordinary Expat: Stevie Spit, the Army Brat from Glasgow who is now Queen of the Costa Blanca

Many of the expats I speak to as Sandra In Spain reinvent themselves when they move to the Costa Blanca, but drag artiste, singer, disc jockey, actor and comedian Stevie Spit has always been an entertainer. In fact on 4 July, he celebrates the 30th anniversary of his first professional gig. Like most women – even part time ones – he’s coy about his age, but since he’s never done anything else but entertain, and everything is still nice and firm – Oooh Matron! – it’s fair to say he’s spent his life in showbiz.

Originally from Glasgow, Stevie is the only member of his family that doesn’t sound in the least Scottish. He puts that down to being what he calls an Army Brat, and travelling the world from a very young age. He’s been in Spain for 12 years, and is possibly the best known entertainer on the Costa Blanca – and also the busiest. His weekends are booked up well in advance, and people will travel miles to see his act.

Recently, Stevie starred as a transvestite vicar in ‘The Cucaracha Club,’ an independent spy thriller filmed on location in and around Torrevieja. While it’s a bit of a typecast situation, he was keen not to let the scene where he follows the leading male characters dressed as a woman descend into farce. He had to borrow clothes from female friends, since his stage gear was too glamorous to be credible, and he spent a lot of time in stilettos.

He clearly did a great job, because in the sequel, ‘The Cucaracha Club 2: The Route of All Evil,’ he’s been promised a more meaty role. Being Stevie, he has to make a quip about that. ‘Apparently, I’m going to have two nuns under me in the sequel. I can’t wait to get into the habit!’

As well as working on paid gigs, Stevie does a lot for charity, and his big heart extends way past the borders of Spain. Once a year, he does a tour of Afghanistan, putting on shows for troops and expats. They can be pretty hilarious, for Stevie and his audience. On one memorable trip, Stevie’s stage gear was left in Amsterdam, and he had to borrow the Regimental Sergeant Major’s wife’s finery to put on the show.

He found it a bit off putting though, because she sat in the front row, and every time he came out in a different outfit, she hissed ‘I hope he isn’t stretching that!’ Stevie heard it, and felt like saying ‘No love, I’ve had to have them all taken in, but I’ll let them out again before you get them back!’

Stevie also needed something to give him boobs, and luckily help was at hand from a lance corporal who liked to dress in women’s clothes but kept them on the base as his wife didn’t know about it. He provided the necessary padding, but wasn’t allowed to see the show as it was for officers only. Stevie still wonders if he ever got his fillets back!

I was wondering a bit about how the Taliban reacted to a drag artiste, but as Stevie said, they all wear frocks anyway! On a more serious note, it’s not an easy gig playing in Afghanistan. They travel around in bullet proof vehicles, and the first time they did the show, the Taliban said anyone who travelled the road to the event was at significant risk of being kidnapped. However, the threat of violence is not enough to deter Stevie from helping where it’s needed, and he also visits orphanages in Kabul.

One one occasion, he played cricket with around 80 kids. He may be an adult entertainer, but he has the kind of personality that reaches out to anyone and everyone.

Closer to home, Stevie lays on a charity variety show at the Benidorm Palace every October. He always manages to get headline acts from the UK to appear, and it’s a constant challenge to top the previous year’s show. He’s the only drag artiste that gets a regular gig at the Benidorm Palace, and now he’s breaking another boundary as the first female impersonator to include ventriloquism in his act.

He’s taught himself with the help of YouTube videos, and his doll Sally Cox Swallow will soon be joined by Greta Gargle. As Stevie says, soon it will be Spit, Swallow and Gargle. Fittingly, Sally is in drag too, and she’ll be saying things that even Stevie would struggle to get away with.

Surprisingly, Stevie hates dressing up for his shows. He sees the glamorous frocks as some kind of uniform, but concedes that it’s a better looking uniform than anyone else’s. He also presents a weekend show on Sunshine FM Radio, and his schedule is so busy that he usually walks in as a man, and out as a woman, ready to wow his audiences on the Costa Blanca. It takes around 45 minutes to get ‘The Look,’ so he fits it in between records.

Looking ahead, Stevie is getting ready to release his first DVD, ‘Stevie Spit Live at the Benidorm Palace.’ It’s been four years in the making, and will include sketches, monologues, parodies and remakes of popular adverts.

Look out for the DVD, and look out for Stevie Spit appearing at a venue near you. This big hearted, talented Army Brat from Glasgow is certainly No Ordinary Expat, and I’m privileged to count him as a friend.

Published May 31st, 2017 by Sandra Piddock
Posted to Expat Blog

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